Girls in Crisis and God's Love

Rape, abuse, rejection, neglect ...

These are the issues -- the deep secrets -- some of the girls at last weekend's conference carried with them. How does one value and respect oneself, when no one has ever respected them?

Into these heavy lives came Gina from FIT Decisions and the Ohio team, full of grace and love. Through discussions about choices, friends, life and love, this team surrounded hurting girls with love and gave them safe place to share their hurts, all the while pointing them to the One who values them most.

The discussions were punctuated by clever crafts, kickboxing, and classes in self defense. And Gina shared heartwrenching stories from her own life, which connected her intimately with these these hurting girls.

On Saturday, at lunch, Tunde, who grew up in the orphanage and holds a rather loud and abrasive exterior, called Russ and I over. We first met Tunde ten years ago at the Miskolc orphanage when she was 14. When she called us over she was speaking for the three older girls who came from Miskolc. She burst into tears, saying, "It means so much to us that you would think to have us come to such a special conference. We do not have families. You are all we have. And we want you to know how much we appreciate you caring about us." We told her how much we love them and how special they are to us and how proud we are of the way they are making it in life. And we prayed with them. It was a precious moment.

One of the team members from Ohio was a hair dresser, and she had stayed up doing hair until about 3am Sunday morning. One orphanage girl asked her to give her a full hair cut -- whatever she thought would look good. A lot of hair came off. And when she went to look in the mirror she burst into tears. The Americans were concerned that she hated the haircut. But then the girl explained that she was crying because she loved it and she felt so special because of all that they were investing in her this weekend.

When we put the orphanage girls on the bus to head back. Our whole group stood beside the bus doing "the wave" and blowing kisses and making an all around American spectacle of ourselves. The girls on the bus laughed hysterically and waved back. They knew we valued them, and that God values them too.

Two of the orphanage girls appear to have made steps toward Christ this weekend -- only Christ knows their hearts for sure. Please continue to pray for them as they return to their lives and situations where they do not feel as loved or valued.

Teens, Sex, and Choices

Truth and Consequences...

Cause and Effect ...

We begin to instill these concepts into our children from birth.

Crying brings food.

Crying brings a clean diaper.

Crying brings comfort.

Laughing brings happy faces and cheery sounds.

But what about the child who never got that? What about the neglected child who cried and cried, but no one came? What about the orphanage child who had his needs met only according to institution schedule? For them cause-and-effect do not compute.

I am amazed as I look at my two girls -- one born to us by flesh, the other brought to us through God's gracious gift of adoption. Although eight months younger, our biological daughter fully grasps cause-and-effect. "If I choose to disobey, then I must face the consequences." But our adopted daughter does not get it, yet. Even after more than a year on consistent boundaries and discipline, she does not yet fully comprehend that her choices have consequences.

CHOICES. That is a fundamental topic for the teen girls conference we have scheduled for Feb, 7-10. It is a joint conference for the Miskolc orphanage girls and our youth group girls here in Debrecen.

Choices about health. Choices about friends. Choices about guys and sex. Choices about God.

A teen girl's life today is fully of choices. But for the orphanage girls, this concept may be completely new and perhaps a little incomprehensible. They are victims of neglect, abuse, sexual abuse, abandonment ...etc. They see all these tragedies as simply part of life. And life just happens. And even in the areas where they can take control, they have simply let life happen to them. The result: being used by boys, unwanted pregnancies, multiple abortions ...etc. They do not really grasp cause-and-effect. It has never been taught to them.

This conference has the potential to reshape how they see themselves, their relationships with others, and their relationship with God.

But we would be naive to expect such a dramatic reshaping to occur in single weekend. It will take discipleship. And discipleship is neither easy nor instant. Perhaps, this weekend, will mark a new beginning, a starting point, from which they will begin to discover how their choices have long-term implications.

So I invite you to pray for this event.

Pray for group coming from Ohio to lead the conference.
Pray for the conference leader, Gina from FIT Decisions.
Pray for the orphanage girls who will be attending
Pray for the youth group girls who will be attending.
Simply pray that God will use this according to His will to do a work in the lives of these desperate teens.

And most of all, Pray that God raises up young women in Miskolc who will disciple these orphanage girls as to how to live a Christian life.

So This is Christmas...

The flurries are gently wafting through the crisp winter air in Eastern Hungary and the smell of burning wood and coal fills the village of Mikepercs where we live. While our girls squeal with excitement at their recently unwrapped gifts, many children at the Lakasotthon Orphanage in nearby Miskolc spend another holiday without warm feelings or family.
But thanks to our dear friend Christine Pegnoglou, their Christmas was not without cheer and little bit of laughter, perhaps even delight. Visiting from Dallas, Texas, Christine brought an array of Christmas knicknacks, including festive pencils, erasers, stickers and candy canes packaged beautifully in SnowMan bags for the children. But the Krem-de-la-krem of these Christmas packages were the ever infamous whoopie cushions which took the institution by storm when we delivered them on December 23rd.
At first the children were wary of the odd-looking balloons, but once demonstrated and the first unmistakable sound of intestinal fortitude echoed through the halls, the institution exploded into a veritable bower of giggles, gurgles and gastrointestinal pandemonium.
Gergely, the tiniest boy in the orphanage, was afraid the cushion would pop like a balloon so he just ran around holding his ears as Csaba and the other boys produced endless echoes of artificial methane emissions.
The sounds of children's laughter poured into the streets as Christine, Trudy, and our faithful translator Bogi (from the Debrecen church youth group) left the institution and headed to the boys transition house (for older boys preparing to be out on their own) in the nearby village of Pereces. There we delivered a Hungarian Christmas dinner as several of them had no place to go for Christmas. And Christine brought each of the boys a Dallas Cowboys baseball cap as a special Christmas gift.
Of course, gifts and visits from foreigners cannot make up for what these children lack this Christmas season. Still, perhaps the visit gave them a little sense that someone cares. And perhaps someday, if we can consistently show them love in some tangible, genuine way, they will come to know the One who cares most for them.

10 Years of Thanksgiving in Miskolc Orphanage

Thanksgiving may be over for this year, but our reasons for being thankful live on. This past Thanksgiving, we celebrated our tenth year of Thanksgiving at the Lakasotthon Orphanage in Miskolc, Hungary. I really cannot imagine spending Thanksgiving any other way. But just because this holiday is spent in such a remote area does not suggest it is stress free.

A team of around 40 people traveled from military bases in Germany to help sponsor the event. We are thankful for their love and commitment -- especially considering the toll the trip took on them. They traveled all night on Wednesday arriving at the Hungarian border early in the morning on Thursday -- only to find out Hungarian border officials would not let three of them enter -- two did not have passports but had military IDs and military orders which should have been sufficient, the other lost her passport and had a temporary passport and a letter from the German police validating it.

After much haggling and calls to the US Embassy, nothing could be done and the three were sent home on a train. The rest of the troupe continued the pilgrimage all the way across Hungary. Although fatigued, the group arrived ready to minister to the kids. The participants from the Gospel Chapel provided a gospel-styled concert of Friday night that left the kids rivited! These orphan teens are particularly enamoured with African Americans and felt privileged that these guests would want to befriend them.

On Friday night each of the four "homes" that are part of this orphanage celebrated Christmas and the children were each given gift. Many of the smaller children did not know what to do when the festively wrapped package was place in their laps. They just sat staring at it. One particular family has 12 kids (10 of whom are in this orphanage) and they were discovered by social services in abject poverty last summer. These children 4,5,6,7 years of age had probably never received a Christmas gift wrapped in fine paper before. The Hungarian translator told the children to unwrap the gift. They did, careful not to rip the paper as it was too beautiful to tear. And then their eyes lit up as they discovered something special inside for each of them. It was a treasured moment.

The children spent the three days playing frisbee, doing crafts, playing board games, and doing pinatas all with their American friends. And Saturday night everyone chowed down on a festive Thanksgiving meal. The kids sang and did skits at the event and everyone fell into relationship with each other. It was difficult to say goodbye.

But, unfortunately, for those who came from Germany on the bus, the adventure was not over yet. As they traveled through Budapest, the bus got into a small fender bender with a car. When the German bus driver got out to deal with the situation, four guys from the car assaulted him. It took 400 Euro to get out of the situation. Details are still sketchy. But the group made it back to Germany, despite the problems on Sunday afternoon.

It was a whirlwind of a Thanksgiving-- full of ups and downs. But God was present in it all. And by his grace we continue. Please pray for the children of the Lakasotthon orphanage in Miskolc, Hungary. It is full of children who have endured enormous suffering, and yet God's hand remains on that place.

Casting the Nets on Thanksgiving

"Fishers of Men" It is an interesting analogy. There is perhaps a time to cast the net wide and a time to cast the net deep. God has answered our prayers to go deeper this year as we have truly come to know some of the children in the Miskolc orphanage -- along with all their sufferings and fears. Russell's weekly Bible study there continues to draw a small crowd and college students from a local church have begun to assist him in ministering to the kids. The net is being thrown deep.

But this week things will be shaken up a little in Miskolc. On Thursday a group of 42 people from military chapels in Germany will invest their Thanksgiving in these children -- not just the handful who come to Bible study, but all 40 plus kids at the children's home. And for this week, the net will be thrown wide once again.

Who would have thought a Hungarian orphanage would come to make Thanksgiving their own tradition? But after 10 consecutive years of celebrating the feast alongside American friends, there's no doubt Turkey and pumpkin pie along with prayers of Thanksgiving are not just for Americans anymore.

So this year, and we invite you to participate with us -- in your prayers. When you gather with your friends and family around a steamy Turkey and you bow your heads to pray, remember these faces and ask God to use this American holiday to touch and change the lives of hurting Hungarian kids.

(Special Thanks to MacKenzie Rollins who took these photos)

Going Native and Home Movies

This may qualify as one of those really bad home movies that parents force their friends to watch as their children display questionable talents on film. But in the spirit of "going native" I thought some of you might enjoy seeing a short film of last weekend's "OvodaBal" or "Kindergarten Ball." This was a formal event in the village where the kids (5-6 year olds) performed some Hungarian dances while parents and other village dignitaries wined and dined at the local culture house. The Event began at 8pm and probably went on til past midnight. It was truly a slice of Hungarian village life as the guests of honor included the village mayor and members of the city council. We, of course, were the token foreigners, but the all-Hungarian speaking crowd took pains to make us feel welcome.

Shovels, Saws and Missions

What do shovels, saws and paintbrushes have to do with missions? A heck of a lot if you are with Calvary Chapel Heidelberg who recently brought a group to Hungary to serve a Roma church. A veritable army of 14 hard workers with German determination painted the church building and erected a pavilion adjacent to the church. That pavilion will serve for summer services, special events, fellowship and outreach.
The group began their week of service by visiting local orphanages where they painted faces and played games. Strange as it seems the group of Germans introduced kids to America's favorite pastime -- baseball. And the kids loved it.
But the bulk of their week in Hungary was spent in unglamorous manual labor and connecting face to face with an ethnic group most Europeans find undesirable -- the Gypsies. It was a lot of blood, sweat and tears, but in the end all were blessed by the group's visit. Perhaps most interesting was when asked what was the best part of the missions trip, one of the German team members said that it definitely working with the Roma church members.